Relationship plays a vital role in our life, whether it is with family, friend or a lover: the key objective is to have a sense of balance in your life. To have harmony and ultimately happiness, it is important to have balance in relationships – all of your relationships – but especially in your marriage.
Many people neglect these basic criteria because the human brain is designed to be efficient, it makes a decision about something and places it. There are few key points you should look out for when it comes to having a balanced relation:
Never lose your INDIVIDUALITY!
Maintaining individuality is critical to establishing a long-lasting, healthy partnership. Therefore, equal efforts between attending to oneself and making the relationship work are necessary.
Instead of having a strong sense of self, one might turn to their partner to strengthen their identity. Consider the following examples of how people compromise in marriage.
- Instead of looking to oneself, they look for their partner to figure out what they need or want.
- Depending on their partner to take their care.
- Refusing to adapt to change, therefore over-dependence on their partner for it.
- Trying to overdo everything just to please their partner even when it feels wrong.
Maintain each other’s PERSONAL BOUNDARIES
Personal boundaries are the limits we set for ourselves as individuals in relationships. They protect our sense of personal identity and help guard against being excited by others demand.
Before we can set boundaries, we have to know who we are. Ask yourself the following questions.
- What is really important to me?
- What feelings and thoughts are worth protecting?
- What are my values?
- Am I always striving for personal satisfaction and happiness?
- What are my needs?
- What are the traditions/hobbies I want to follow?
- Which are the friendships I want to maintain?
Having a “Grown-up” Relationship
Simply put, a “grown-up” relationship is one in which both partners will feel closely connected while maintaining a strong sense of independence and individuality within the relationship.
Being in a successful partnership does not mean that you “complete” each other, as a portrait in movies and novels. You do not need to love to do the same activities or agree on everything. You need to respect the differences that exist between each other.
Issues around power and control seldom consume much importance in a “grown-up” relationship. A peaceful relationship is not one that is free of conflict; it is when partners deal with conflict in fairways.
Your partnership should consist of the following components:
- A high level of trust, mutual respect, and friendship.
- Each person allows the other as much space as they need.
- Mutual sharing, give and take, trade-offs and occasional sacrifices for the other.
- Boundaries which are comfortable for both partners around critical issues such as sex, finances and other family members.
- Ways of developing closer intimacy at some times, while maintaining strong individuality at other times.
Remember be you. Expect your partner to love you for who you are and love them back.